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It's The Small Gestures That Really Count

John Gottman, Ph.D.

How do you build romance in your marriage? How do you build passion? How do you build good sex? It's these very tiny moments where people were making bids for emotional connection. They're trying to get their partner's attention or interest or conversation or social support or humor or affection, to tell a joke or something like that. And then the partner would either turn toward them and be ready to laugh or be ready to say oh that's interesting.

Their partner is really stating a need, either verbally or non-verbally. So once you get people to be mindful and tune into these small moments it really changes the connection.

Sol Sigal

When we're on an escalator no matter where it may be, either going up or coming down, between each floor on the escalator, Martha gets a kiss on the cheek. Now sometimes if she's fast enough, if she turns her head, I kiss her on the lips.