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Avoiding Divorce
John
Gottman, Ph.D.
Our best predictor of divorce is contempt. Contempt is really
sulfuric acid for love. It's any statement that you make from a
higher plane than your partner. You're superior to your partner in
some way. You're cleaner and smarter and more competent, a better
parent. So contempt is really our single best predictor of divorce.
Martha Sigall
My favorite secret is never to go to bed mad. We decided when we
first got married that we would never go to bed angry, we'd always
make up somehow or other before we went to sleep. Now there were
times when we went to bed very angry and we would just lie there and
lie there. And pretty soon Sol would say, "I'm sorry I yelled",
without saying " I'm sorry I was wrong", because he never admitted he
was wrong.
Sol Sigall: I never was.
Martha Sigall: I'd say, I'm sorry too. Pretty soon we were kissing
and hugging and we'd turn around and fall asleep.
Divorce Mythology
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